Loss and hoping for new begninnings

loss Day 60
Originally uploaded by GButterfly

Looking at my last post ... I should pay more attention to my dreams. Just two months after that dream - that co-worker in fact told me she was pregnant. Now it is July - and she and another coworker are both due in september. I had another round of IVF which ended in another early miscairriage after 1 1/2 weeks of bedrest in a physician ordered attmpt to prevent just that. So I am left with some extra pounds form lack of exercise but no pregnancy. going to work is getting difficult. I find myself wanting to avoid the two pregnant ladies - and that just isn't possible. then, i feel mean for not wanting ot be around them. my problem is not their fault - yet I can not help it - they are walking reminders of all that I want and can not have. So I am trying to forcu on my photography and on the fact that my husband is the best partner I could ever wish for. i am starting another blog just for my photography without all of this talk of wanting babies. I'm hoping some day that will be a business blog - and this one, well some day it may tell the story of us brining home adopted children if we can not bring home a baby born of my own body.