some of my current favorites

some of my current favorites
Originally uploaded by GButterfly.

one lst thing...now I'll go to bed. I'll have to really spend timeand be more selective to make mosaic with a theme next time....

clematis suspended

clematis suspended
Originally uploaded by GButterfly.

I haven't writen much here - i knew I wouldn't be a regular blogger...
the sermon sunday got me thinking maybe I should be working with children again...more about that later. If I start writing about that now I'll be up all night. It's complex - it's all tied up with my fertility -and the reasons I stopped working in the not for proffit world/ with children. I've only recently really started back to exploring my spritual life - so it seems really too soon to start making decisions based on my feeligns after one sermon. I think Ariel is right - I need to see what kinds of things open up - I still think writing my family history is important - and learning more about qualitative research and semi-structured interviews. As I write this I realise ...if anyone else is reading this they probably don't know WHAT I am going on about - that and I wasn't plannig to stay up late writing tonight.
I've been obsessing about flickr - so I've been taking a lot of pictures. I think I need to go through maybe next weekend and delete the photos from my stream that aren't as good - or are the same.
It is still a mystery to me how people get so many comments or visitors to their pages. Is it the title? the time of day posted? they submit to groups? I'm not sure. what I really want is to kow if some of my photos are good enough to sell - but I've become obsessed with wanting a photo on the explore page becuase of the exposure it gets.
I need to learn more about what groups will provide the feedback I want - and forget about the explore page.

I really should go to bed - maybe I can take some photos tomorrow morning - I haven't taken a single photo today. I'm obsessed you know - I actually took photos in church - it didn't take away really from my hearing the message - of course - the photos weren't particularly good - they were lopsided.

yesterday morning...

red with yellow blur by home depot
Originally uploaded by GButterfly.

yesterday morning i went out with the intention of photographing tulips. I was only able to find red and yellow this year - and now near the size displays that I have seen in previous years.
The weather though couldn't have been more perfect. I may add more later in the week but for now I have to go to work. It's one of my longer days - 10 hours - but I don't dread this as much - I think my cold is breaking. I do hope I find opportunity to take a break in my work and get outside for my "lunch" break. (when you work 11-9 it's odd - its not really lunchtime when you take your break.) I wasn't able to get very many decent photos yesterday. I've been on a roll lately wanting to take photos of everything - a confluence of influences I think have led to this - joining flickr, warmer weather, wanting to try out my camera, oh and the obsessive side of me. That part somewhat relates to flickr. Now that I have seen what wonderful photos other people take - I'm detremined to improve my own photograpic skills. It's challenging being in kansas rather than near something breathtaking like mountains or the sea- but possibly that is why i have developed an interest in different perspectives, abstract images, and macros. I soooo want an extension ring - and a really good macro. oh - and I've also been fantasizing about an ubgrade in the digital point and shoot becuase you cann't alwasy carry the slr. My latest dreams: casio exilim s-100 (has split screen abiliy -and its TINY) and - this may be a greater desire....I want the canon powershot sd-550 its (drumrole please....) 7.1 megapixil, it's small and its got some neat color settings that I'm hungering to play with...but until i've saved some money or the price is dropped.....I'll have to wait. so, in the interiim I've placated myself by getting some film for my holga - i haven't done anything with film since december - and I'm hungering to do multiple exposures. gotta run!

tree in fog

tree in fog
Originally uploaded by marymuses.

This is such a great shot - taken by someone else.
I have so far to go with my photography.... I get bummed that none of my photos are chosen on flickr for interestingness or favorites & such - but then when I look at what everyone else is doing.... I realize I need more practice and a micro macro with an extension tube wouldn't hurt either

My head is still screaming with this cold/ headache/ hurt. I've eaten so much ibuprophen this week.

Photos With Wings

Well, if updating regularly is a sign of a good blog I'm terrible. I go in spurts. Won't have time to write anything this week unless I do Tuesday morning - and really I should work in the yard some more then and maybe go into work a few hours early or go visit my grandpa and start my oral history. I still need to work some more on question development though. I'm just putting this post here as a reminde that I need to write more consitenly.
Also- to remind me to talk about the thory of the soul which I developed today. Teaser: it shares some similarities to hindu thought and it also attempts to explain why there seem to be so many soulless sociopaths in society today.
on that cheerful thought I'll check on my flikr photos and go make dinner

City Market

strawberry guy
Originally uploaded by GButterfly.

I love the city market. good cheap vegetables, differnt people, and the strawberry guy. We call him the strawberry guy becuase the first time we went to the market he was calling out "strawberry strawberry strawberry" letting everyone know he had beautiful strawberries & he was ready to deal. I alwasy buy something from him due to his old world charm. He alsways says gratsi senora.

I've recently joined flicker - its becomming an addiction. Well, there is a group on there discussing what makes a good blog. I hadn't really thought about it but my blog isn't very good. It's all over the place. I don't really feel smart enough to share my political opions and I don't do enough knitting or other such creative pursuits to dedicate a blog just to one thing ... besides its representative of me and I am interested in many things - photography really is the thing that intersts me most right now.

So, here is one person from flicker's idea of what makes a good blog:
(Raphie Frank says:) "The question between what makes a good blog and what is necessary to grow a blog audience are two very different issues....A GOOD BLOG (in my opinion) involves some or all of the below variables, although different topics perhaps make some of the variables irrelevant.....1) Timeliness.......4) Actionable, useful information 5) Consistency of tone, look and feel........9) Frequent updates...And GOOD WRITING? You know it when you read it. Bad is bad and good is good...."

So there you have it. I don't really consider myself a good writer anymore. I did once, but I'm out of practice, and I've read more - so with more to compare I've fallen in rank in my own mind.

One poster suggested that many people read blogs and don't comment - something I'd never really considered - I don't imagine that many people read my blog - but just out of curiosity - if you read please post a comment - anything even just a hello. I'm just curious who does stumble accross it.
~G

buddah belly and other ramblings

I was looking for maternity tops I'm not pregnant, just fat and hoping to be pregnant soon. Actually trying to be pregnant soon - unless of course hubby decides to go to Africa. He has always wanted to go on a trip - then he gets romantic notions after we watch movies about all of the suffering in Africa. (invisible children http://www.invisiblechildren.com/home.php was the first, then the constant gardner.) I get those notions too - I want to help those children - with imunizations, with schools, but mostlly by spiriting them a way to a safer home and taking care of them. I can't of course: they have parents, families to which they belong. that is their life and it would be unfair to take just the children. It would be unfair even to take a whole family away from the village - its their home that they know -thier community -their society and you can only leave that really by choice. Besides, I'm not rich. Anyhow, if he runs off to aArica & gets himself shot by the Jonaeweed or more likely by some corrupt american or british company with financial interests in the region - that would put a major crimp in the whole raising a family thing. I know thats selfish; helping others is a greater good - but I want my own children. I used to help others then I reached a point where I was helping drug addicts and I had this growing feeling that it was unfair. They got to have children and I helped them, helped their children, but I didn't get to have children -becuase I was sacrificing my time and not making very much money (to afford a family) so that I could help them. I guess I just reached the age where my idealism drained right out of my heart. Wes still has some idealism. I'm torn. I'm afraid that if I sacraficed, gave up my desire for others again, I would grow to resent it and stop doing a good job. It's happened before - I give it my all then I feel the unfairness and I start to loose my steam. I do know that right now it is hard to imagine a fulfilling life if I cann't have my own children, and time is running out, it may have already run out - I'll find out more later this week when my lab results come back. Friday I had tubes and tubes of blood drawn. It really wiped me out - but it will be all worth it if I can have children

What go this ramble all started? Fasion. Yes to let me be really superficial for a moment: yes, so my belly is fat, my torso is long (actually it's my rise but whatever the point is) my fat belly is often not covered by the combination of today's too short tops and too low waisted bottoms. I just want to be comfortable and covered - and to have something flattering too - I don't necessarily want to wear fat clothes even though I am technically speaking fat. I totter between wearing normal clothes and fat womens clothes. so...I discovered a maternity shop called buddah belly so I typed that in to google and ran across this blog: buddah belly I like the way she writes - so I wanted to be able to go back to it and read some more. I'm using this post to bookmark it - and now I need to find the store buddah belly too - they have a nice wrap top that looks comforting and covering - yet is still pretty. and it's only $30 - which is more than I usually pay (I shop at thrift shops and target mostly - sometimes old navy or kohls sales racks) - but well worth it if I could wear it now to cover the belly and when preggers to cover the belly. Here it is: http://www.buddhabellymaternity.com/Brooklyn%20Top%20White.htm Of course I ran across a wonderful wrap top by some brittish place ( http://www.isabellaoliver.com/IOSite/prod/Tops/TP05.htm ) but the cost is $85 so I won't be buying that unless it goes down - maybe I'll find a knock off I really liked it - or I could learn to sew like I've been intending all of this time.

Well, if a blog is an glimpse into a person - this is a blog. If its supposed to be something more than that - then i've failed.

sky above QT

sky above QT
Originally uploaded by GButterfly.

last week I was filling up and had to take a shot because the sky was so pretty for a supposed winter day. This week I've had a few day off...snow and little sun.
I'm experimenting with flickr just becuase I have admired the photos others have posted there lately.

only a few days ago....
Photo Property of Genevieve Casey. Do not print without permission

Unbelievable that this was only a few days ago! Today? Cold, raining and snow predicted for the night. So this is my spring break. I'm feeling a bit discouraged today about the whole mess. When I was laying in bed this morning I was looking forward to calling my docto

boys outside at phaedra's wedding

the boys outside after dark
Photo Property of Genevieve Casey. Do not print without permission

joe casey's birthday train
Photo Property of Genevieve Casey. Do not print without permission

sleepy boy
Photo Property of Genevieve Casey. Do not print without permission
I hesitate to post this photo as I look like such an ugly hag here - but christopher is so sweet - it's the only pic I have of me w/ one of the kids.

the sibs sit
Photo Property of Genevieve Casey. Do not print without permission

joyce and kids laughing
Photo Property of Genevieve Casey. Do not print without permission

phaedra and jeff kiss outside
Photo Property of Genevieve Casey. Do not print without permission

phaedra and jeff outside
Photo Property of Genevieve Casey. Do not print without permission
It was a beautiful wedding, and everyone had a good time. They had a real photographer doing all of the posed pics so I tried to take a few more spontaneous shots for the memory books.....

what i love about the holga (multiple exposures)

Photo property of Genevieve Casey, do not reprint without permission.
I long to have time and moola to take some holga shots and develop. medium format film is more expensive to purchase and develop - as so few places in town do. Really need a dark room -but now of cours I am addicted to digital.

Will this post as today's date (it is sunday) or will it post as the date I uploaded? I haven't really gotten the hang of this blogging thing - still cann't find a way to post the photot next to my bio - I think its something to do w/ the security settings on my computer.

thoughts today: this weekend seemed longer than usual - why? maybe the vast shifts in weather? thursday night which i sometimes think of as part of the weekend becuase i only work til 430 or 5 rather than the usual 7 or 9 or such. anyhow -visited grandpa and had a nice visit. I want to write he and grandmas stories - I 'm wondering how I approach this with them. I'm wanting to do it for my (not as yet concieved muchless born) children. then came home & made dinner and such.
I worked Friday longer hours than usual for a friday then visited grandpa - then got sick off some indian food. bummed - I hope I'm not becoming allergic to coconut milk i love coconut milk.
saturday - the weather was so nice out we ran our errands (purchased wedding present & such) & I convinced wes to study outside for a bit - so that we could soak up some vitamin E and happiness and I could take a few photos. evening movie rental fish and chips bad choice for the whole diet thing - i really need to get back on track I think spring break is my get back on track time. - not sure how smart this is since there will probably be stuf w/ wes' family (besides phaedra's wedding) I taked to my grandma - I hadn't been visiting her so much becuase I figured she was worn down w/ gpa - but it seems my mom has done the same - not gone over as usual on fridays & visited gpa instead. I think we all visit him at different times which is probalby good for him but we never see each other. this week sometime if my body cooperates I'll get to go in to the lab and have all sorts of tests run - drink glucose water and have blood drawn every 30 minutes or something to that effect.
oh - back to my point about the weekend seeming longer -so since saturday was so nice - today it cooled down and it has been constantly shifting. There have been tornado warnings - a brief bit of hail - clearing up - and then some thunderstrom.
I love holding my sweetie in the rain. I miss having a covered porch - some day I'd love a wrap around porch which is partially covered - or at least has a movable onning of some sort - so that I can sit in the rain with tea and coffee, sweetie and puppies and such.
studied at the coffees shop for a bit - it was odd - some people were in from my younger years - to see them changed a bit physically - but it seems not changed so much otherwise. I really am only basing this on very little interaction though -that and 2 poems. It seems so far in the past that I felt very at home there like I was a part of it's life. I long to be a part of some lives other than my family and my job - I think maybe this new church may be a part of that - it seems strange - I never when I was younger and went to church - even when I treid to attend youth group gatehrings - i never really could relate to teh community - or felt a part of it. I wonder if that will be differnt here? I think becuase of my low levels of energy I have trouble engaging in any community - even my own family except at special times like times of crisis. I wish it weren't so. Ok I'm being called to make the grocery list for the week.

my signature multiple exposure butterflies
Photo Property of Genevieve Casey. Do not print without permission

I wanted to have this posted on my main page at all times -but I haven't figured that function out yet - I REALLY must go to bed - tomorrow is a long day with much to do and I'm really gonig to be tired. hmm

Photo Property of Genevieve Casey. Do not print without permission
Sweetie and I on a Relaxing Spring Day

Test Blog - more public navel gazing

Good Morning Bloggers. It just is morning a few minutes after midnight. I should be sleeping but feel restless, feel like connecting but hubby had to go to bed so he can get up bright and early for clinicals.
I'm testing this out to see if I like it more or less than livejournal

TODAY I AM GRATEFUL FOR:

Hope - I finally met w/ infertility doc & he gave me hope

Husband - Even on days when our time together is brief -we make a point to connect He's a good man and I'm so grateful he's in my life

Health Insurance such as it is - I am grateteful to have healht insurance so that I can recieve care I need - when there are so many people in this country who go without insurance, and so without care, without medications, without hope.

Grandpa walking - continued prayers that he continues on the mend.

Beauty - in art - in actoin - in wonderful soft fibers in lovely colors that didn't use to be possible.

Not so much more to say. It's 7 days into Lent - and while we have found a church -I have yet to do the Examen every day like I had planned. For the uninitiated The Examen is a Jesuit thing - It's part of Xavier Loyola's Spiritual Exercises - a daily exercise called the examen of conscience. I'm not sure it's something I want to do publicly - yet without public accountability - I'm not doing a very good job of sticking to it. hmmm let me think about this - there is a good chance that no-one will read my blog - but there is some random change that someone might....

I babble badly - time to put this post to bed

What will I do better tomorrow:

Eat smaller portions & fewer calories, talk less and listen more, take time to enjoy the pups and birds, stop and enjoy the weather, offer help when I feel the impulse rather than feeling shy about whether it is wanted, and most of all FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS. I will focus on the tasks at hand and resist distraction tomorrow. (All the more reason to take my rest today)