this is where we are at, still, after all of these years. last night i dreamt a co-worker was pregnant - although she is a friend and i shouild be happy for her it was a nightmare - becuase was pregnant finally first but I lost my baby so early in the first trimester. thank god it was a dream -i am not ready to deal with her pregnancy i know it is trying and it will probably happen before it happens for usi f it happens for us after all she is under 30 and i am turning 40 in another month. so here i am with emty arms. and we'll have to wait on another egg doner....
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